Wednesday, March 10, 2010
My Personal Mission Statement
When I was in highschool, I realized that sometimes I cared TOO much. I noticed that I was always wanting to help other people out and be there for them. I wanted to show them the love of God and let them know they were not alone in this world. Compassion was my middle name. This ended up in me getting used a lot and hurt alot. I had a lot of questions to God. Why am I so nice? Why do I allow myself to get hurt? Why don't I see that sometimes trying to help someone won't always turn out right?? As life progressed, I began to realize that God gave me a compassionate heart for a reason. He gave me the heart to want to help others and that having that kind of heart is not wrong. I began to understand that not every person that I reach out to will be thankful. They won't always be appreciative and they might even bring pain to me through rejection. But I learned that love is worth it. We all need to love each other more, no matter how big the baggage, and how undesirable the person. I'm learning to love the unloveable and care for the people who do not even care for themselves. This is not always an easy task but it's worth the time. Jesus cared for us, didn't He? We are the unloveable. We are the undesirable. We are the ones with the baggage. We are the ones who seem to not even care about ourselves because of how we treat our bodies. We are those people. He showed us compassion whenever we least deserved it. He reached out to us no matter how many times we rejected Him. He never stopped loving us and He never gave up on us. If He can do that for me, shouldn't I follow His way and try to be that person for others? I am the one that is compassionate. That is God's gift to me. I will remember that I am not perfect like Jesus and that I will not always have the answers. I will not always feel like showing compassion to another person. But, I will remember though that love is what the person needs more than anything and that Jesus loved me at my weakest moment. I will remember that love can bring us hope and a purpose again. So,with remembering this, I shall love, no matter the cost.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Taking out the Trash
I am throwing my junk away. I am going to get rid of that gunk and dirt in my life and saying HELLO to what the Lord has to offer me. I'm going through the refining fire baby and it has never felt any better!!!! There is a lot of stuff in my life that is just junk. It's stuff I'm not proud of. It's stuff that I'd rather never see again. It's stuff I just long to be rid of. But it's stuff that is very tempting and VERY hard to say no to at times. But you know what? The fight is worth it. It's not over until it's over. That's my new motto. God has awesome things in store for me and I don't want to miss out on any of it because the world is holding me back. No! I say NO!! NO MORE! I'm going to put up a fight and stand up for my Lord. This world has never given me what I desired, what I deeply desired. Only God can do that for me. He is my EVERYTHING! I will no longer compromise. I will no longer throw in the towel and give up! His love is worth fighting for. When everything else has faded and everyone has left me stranded..the Lord has always been there. And He always will be.
Binge Drinking
I watched a movie on binge drinking tonight. I never really thought much into it but I realized that has been a big part of my life. I used to binge drink all the time. Binge drinking is defined as the consumption of dangerously large quantities of alcoholic beverages in one session. If you have ever been apart of the activity of binge drinking or know someone who has, why do you think they do it?
I kept thinking and wondering. Why did I binge drink? Did I truly enjoy it? And I realized..no. Having one or two drinks was good to loosen up but after that, why do we continue? I realized that mainly a big part of it in my life was to be accepted. I wanted to be accepted by my friends. If their doing it, I will. I also realized that I was shy. I could be very shy and held back and reserved. I saw drinking as the oppurtunity to let go of that shyness and become someone "better" than I was. I didn't think of the dangers. I didn't think of how I could eaisly hurt myself or someone else. I don't think that anyone truly did. I, just as any other teen girl, longed for approval and acceptance. It's a vicious cycle. It's a momentary action that to you seems harmless but then you begin to get caught up. It doesn't happen just one night, but there are many other nights as well. And things don't always go for the best. Too many bad things happen with too much consumption of alcohol. It then becomes less "fun" but still more addicting. It doesn't matter if you wake up in the morning feeling like crap, or you made that one mistake, or ect. You will do it again. Because that is where you find your acceptance.
That was my story anyway. It took a huge tragedy to change that for me and I still find it a weakness. I can still put myself in a situation with different people and think that alcohol is the solution and it's not.
The beauty of the story is that I am now searching for my acceptance only in the Lord. I have let go of the alcohol and am fighting the temptations. I will fight until it's over. I will not grow weary and I will not give up and throw in the towel. The Lord is my rock and my strength. Even though I do fall short and I sometimes fall and mess up and give into the temptation, I will NOT give up. Because, all that I was searching for when I was searching for acceptance has been found. The love I longed for, that I took that drink for, has always been there for me. In Him!
But the sad thing is that not everyone sees that. There are still many people searching and many people making the mistakes. There are many people seeking out alcohol to make them a better person, a more "fun" person. What can we do for those people? What can we do for ourselves? I pray that the people who are searching will soon find what their searching for before it's too late. Even though alcohol can be my weakness, it never fulfills me and only leaves me with negative feelings. To know that many people are still feeling that way night after night brings me sorrow. The pain of searching and never being fulfilled is one of the worst feelings in the world.
Anyways.. this is a 5 in the morning blog, YES, FOLKS.. 5 in the morning. Why am I still awake???? haha!
If this blog seems scattered in any way, it's because it's 5! LOL
Those are my thoughts for the night. I'll be back.. :) Hopefully you enjoy my blogs and we can grow from each other and learn from each other. I'm looking forward to reading all of your blogs as well!!!!!
TOOTLES
<3
I kept thinking and wondering. Why did I binge drink? Did I truly enjoy it? And I realized..no. Having one or two drinks was good to loosen up but after that, why do we continue? I realized that mainly a big part of it in my life was to be accepted. I wanted to be accepted by my friends. If their doing it, I will. I also realized that I was shy. I could be very shy and held back and reserved. I saw drinking as the oppurtunity to let go of that shyness and become someone "better" than I was. I didn't think of the dangers. I didn't think of how I could eaisly hurt myself or someone else. I don't think that anyone truly did. I, just as any other teen girl, longed for approval and acceptance. It's a vicious cycle. It's a momentary action that to you seems harmless but then you begin to get caught up. It doesn't happen just one night, but there are many other nights as well. And things don't always go for the best. Too many bad things happen with too much consumption of alcohol. It then becomes less "fun" but still more addicting. It doesn't matter if you wake up in the morning feeling like crap, or you made that one mistake, or ect. You will do it again. Because that is where you find your acceptance.
That was my story anyway. It took a huge tragedy to change that for me and I still find it a weakness. I can still put myself in a situation with different people and think that alcohol is the solution and it's not.
The beauty of the story is that I am now searching for my acceptance only in the Lord. I have let go of the alcohol and am fighting the temptations. I will fight until it's over. I will not grow weary and I will not give up and throw in the towel. The Lord is my rock and my strength. Even though I do fall short and I sometimes fall and mess up and give into the temptation, I will NOT give up. Because, all that I was searching for when I was searching for acceptance has been found. The love I longed for, that I took that drink for, has always been there for me. In Him!
But the sad thing is that not everyone sees that. There are still many people searching and many people making the mistakes. There are many people seeking out alcohol to make them a better person, a more "fun" person. What can we do for those people? What can we do for ourselves? I pray that the people who are searching will soon find what their searching for before it's too late. Even though alcohol can be my weakness, it never fulfills me and only leaves me with negative feelings. To know that many people are still feeling that way night after night brings me sorrow. The pain of searching and never being fulfilled is one of the worst feelings in the world.
Anyways.. this is a 5 in the morning blog, YES, FOLKS.. 5 in the morning. Why am I still awake???? haha!
If this blog seems scattered in any way, it's because it's 5! LOL
Those are my thoughts for the night. I'll be back.. :) Hopefully you enjoy my blogs and we can grow from each other and learn from each other. I'm looking forward to reading all of your blogs as well!!!!!
TOOTLES
<3
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