Binge Drinking

I watched a movie on binge drinking tonight. I never really thought much into it but I realized that has been a big part of my life. I used to binge drink all the time. Binge drinking is defined as the consumption of dangerously large quantities of alcoholic beverages in one session. If you have ever been apart of the activity of binge drinking or know someone who has, why do you think they do it?

I kept thinking and wondering. Why did I binge drink? Did I truly enjoy it? And I realized..no. Having one or two drinks was good to loosen up but after that, why do we continue? I realized that mainly a big part of it in my life was to be accepted. I wanted to be accepted by my friends. If their doing it, I will. I also realized that I was shy. I could be very shy and held back and reserved. I saw drinking as the oppurtunity to let go of that shyness and become someone "better" than I was. I didn't think of the dangers. I didn't think of how I could eaisly hurt myself or someone else. I don't think that anyone truly did. I, just as any other teen girl, longed for approval and acceptance. It's a vicious cycle. It's a momentary action that to you seems harmless but then you begin to get caught up. It doesn't happen just one night, but there are many other nights as well. And things don't always go for the best. Too many bad things happen with too much consumption of alcohol. It then becomes less "fun" but still more addicting. It doesn't matter if you wake up in the morning feeling like crap, or you made that one mistake, or ect. You will do it again. Because that is where you find your acceptance.
That was my story anyway. It took a huge tragedy to change that for me and I still find it a weakness. I can still put myself in a situation with different people and think that alcohol is the solution and it's not.

The beauty of the story is that I am now searching for my acceptance only in the Lord. I have let go of the alcohol and am fighting the temptations. I will fight until it's over. I will not grow weary and I will not give up and throw in the towel. The Lord is my rock and my strength. Even though I do fall short and I sometimes fall and mess up and give into the temptation, I will NOT give up. Because, all that I was searching for when I was searching for acceptance has been found. The love I longed for, that I took that drink for, has always been there for me. In Him!


But the sad thing is that not everyone sees that. There are still many people searching and many people making the mistakes. There are many people seeking out alcohol to make them a better person, a more "fun" person. What can we do for those people? What can we do for ourselves? I pray that the people who are searching will soon find what their searching for before it's too late. Even though alcohol can be my weakness, it never fulfills me and only leaves me with negative feelings. To know that many people are still feeling that way night after night brings me sorrow. The pain of searching and never being fulfilled is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Anyways.. this is a 5 in the morning blog, YES, FOLKS.. 5 in the morning. Why am I still awake???? haha!
If this blog seems scattered in any way, it's because it's 5! LOL

Those are my thoughts for the night. I'll be back.. :) Hopefully you enjoy my blogs and we can grow from each other and learn from each other. I'm looking forward to reading all of your blogs as well!!!!!

TOOTLES

<3